Which is, of course, a complete lie.
I don't even know where C O G N I T O is!
I have no excuses, other than life, for not blogging.
Though it was almost 2 weeks ago, I have to tell you
about this...
My children went trick-or-treating on halloween with
Mr. Amazing.
*I* was* ill. Feverish. Unable to go. Missed out.
This would have been my first year to make the rounds
with them instead of staying home and passing out candy.
Due to my untimely illness, Mr. Amazing was forced to play
Wicked Stepmother to Queen Bee's Cinderella.
We couldn't just completely bail on a Wicked Stepmother gig.
Not when QB was soooo counting on it.
He did a fabulous job. Wore the wig AND the dress.
Have you ever seen a Wicked Stepmother with a mustache?
Odds are, SOME of you have.
Much to Queen Bee's chagrin, we never did find anyone to play
Anastasia and Drizella, the Ugly Stepsisters.
Not that QB didn't try.
For weeks before halloween, she would ask people
(with great enthusiasm):
"How would YOU like to be my Ugly Stepsister?!?!"
Alas, she had no takers.
Not even the dog.
Poor Cinderella. :>)
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Saturday, September 20, 2008
And another thing... and then one last thing
Another thing:
QB also informed me this morning that when the larm goes off from my key not working in the door of our car, it is called a mistake and that will make people frighten out from the horn blowing so loudish. So don't do that mistake.
Just, you know... so you know about that.
AND the last thing:
I pack snacks for QB to eat at preschool in little tupperware containers.
I try to always put a little piece of tape on the outside of the container that
says what's inside. My line of thinking is that it's easiest for the teacher to
tell her what's in each container, so she only has to open the one(s) that
QB seems interested in eating.
As I sat here writing the previous post, QB began putting stickers
all over one of these little plastic containers.
I absent-mindedly
(I'm on the computer, I can't pay attention to what she's doing right now LOL)
said "Don't put stickers all over that."
QB replied "I have to, so I know what's in there."
"Oh, " I said. "So, what's in there?"
QB smirked at me, maybe a little frustrated
at having to explain something that seems so obvious.
" Our Heavily Father."
"Oh" was all I could say. I'm just so pleased we have labels for that.
EDITED TO ADD: Lovely! The stickers on the container are Moto K's.
They are skateboard stickers. World Industries. Their logo is a little
devilish-looking guy with a pitchfork. Fabulous.
**H**
QB also informed me this morning that when the larm goes off from my key not working in the door of our car, it is called a mistake and that will make people frighten out from the horn blowing so loudish. So don't do that mistake.
Just, you know... so you know about that.
AND the last thing:
I pack snacks for QB to eat at preschool in little tupperware containers.
I try to always put a little piece of tape on the outside of the container that
says what's inside. My line of thinking is that it's easiest for the teacher to
tell her what's in each container, so she only has to open the one(s) that
QB seems interested in eating.
As I sat here writing the previous post, QB began putting stickers
all over one of these little plastic containers.
I absent-mindedly
(I'm on the computer, I can't pay attention to what she's doing right now LOL)
said "Don't put stickers all over that."
QB replied "I have to, so I know what's in there."
"Oh, " I said. "So, what's in there?"
QB smirked at me, maybe a little frustrated
at having to explain something that seems so obvious.
" Our Heavily Father."
"Oh" was all I could say. I'm just so pleased we have labels for that.
EDITED TO ADD: Lovely! The stickers on the container are Moto K's.
They are skateboard stickers. World Industries. Their logo is a little
devilish-looking guy with a pitchfork. Fabulous.
**H**
Queen B explains why our basement is cold.
Me: It's cold down here.
QB: Yeah, it's cold in the basement.
Me: I think basements are always cold.
QB: No, it's cold down here because we have so many wind-ers.
Me: You think the windows are making it cold?
QB: No, the wind-ers. They are blowing and blowing.
Me: The windows are blowing??
(QB walks over and puts her hand atop one of the three fans that are running to dry out our basement.
QB: NO! THIS! THIS WIND-ER, and THAT WIND-ER over THAY-ER. Too many wind-ers blowing is making this basement SO COLD!
So now we know. Too many wind-ers = cold basement. Mystery solved.
**H**
QB: Yeah, it's cold in the basement.
Me: I think basements are always cold.
QB: No, it's cold down here because we have so many wind-ers.
Me: You think the windows are making it cold?
QB: No, the wind-ers. They are blowing and blowing.
Me: The windows are blowing??
(QB walks over and puts her hand atop one of the three fans that are running to dry out our basement.
QB: NO! THIS! THIS WIND-ER, and THAT WIND-ER over THAY-ER. Too many wind-ers blowing is making this basement SO COLD!
So now we know. Too many wind-ers = cold basement. Mystery solved.
**H**
Thursday, September 18, 2008
"I'm incorporated. I'm two idiots." - Gallagher
If you have a preference over which way I sign my posts:
** H **
or
Heather
You should keep it to yourself.
That's all.
** H **
or
Heather
You should keep it to yourself.
That's all.
Wait - I gotta keep it real..
In that previous post's title I made it sound like
I'm all organized now.
Nope, floods change lots of things. Just look at Noah.
Well, this is nothing like that, and Noah is not visible
to the naked eye at this time, so forget I mentioned it.
But I don't want you thinking I'm all changed
and really super-duper awesome at organization
now that I had some water seepage in my basement.
Nope. I'm still a loser. But things are getting a little more
organized, because we've been forced to go through things
that either DID get wet or were GOING to get wet if
we didn't move them.
These things have to get new homes, on higher shelves, in
containers.
(You know, even though it's not likely we'll have
that kind of rain again soon, I want to be sure, in case I don't
get back down there this year - or next.)
Anyway.... no miracle organizational conversion has occurred.
But don't be all up in my grill about it. I'm workin' on it, ok?
Just wanted to set the record straight. "Organized" doesn't
truly describe what's happening here.
This has been a "keepin' it real" announcement.
I'm Heather, and I approve this message. But I'm not proud of it.
I'm all organized now.
Nope, floods change lots of things. Just look at Noah.
Well, this is nothing like that, and Noah is not visible
to the naked eye at this time, so forget I mentioned it.
But I don't want you thinking I'm all changed
and really super-duper awesome at organization
now that I had some water seepage in my basement.
Nope. I'm still a loser. But things are getting a little more
organized, because we've been forced to go through things
that either DID get wet or were GOING to get wet if
we didn't move them.
These things have to get new homes, on higher shelves, in
containers.
(You know, even though it's not likely we'll have
that kind of rain again soon, I want to be sure, in case I don't
get back down there this year - or next.)
Anyway.... no miracle organizational conversion has occurred.
But don't be all up in my grill about it. I'm workin' on it, ok?
Just wanted to set the record straight. "Organized" doesn't
truly describe what's happening here.
This has been a "keepin' it real" announcement.
I'm Heather, and I approve this message. But I'm not proud of it.
Dried out now. Humbled, more organized, thankful, and dry.
Last weekend's rains were just crazy.
My car was also having some issues, so I wasn't out & about anyway.
I didn't realize until I saw pictures this week how bad it really was.
Then you can take everything you don't know what to do with
and shove it down there.
You can do this repeatedly for months on end,
assuring yourself daily that
soon "things will calm down",
and THEN you'll get a complete handle on it.
(Diagnosis..... perfectionism, short attention span,
multi-task performance deficiency,
mother-of-"busy"-toddler-ism,
procrastinati..... I'll finish the list later, but you get the point.)
Later, when there's a stinkin' deluge, and
water seeps into your basement for days on end,
your inadequacy will come to light.
In fact, it will seem to you as though the mostest huge spotlight
(like the kind Crazy Eddie uses for his Midnight Madness sale)
has been shineded down right upon your pajama-clad, bed-headed self.
You'll be humiliated beyond belief.
You'll feel relieved when Mr. Amazing and Moto K -I mean YOUR FAMILY-
don't yell at you, but instead put their durable bodies, forgiving spirits,
and jump-to-it-ive-ness to work to bail (laugh, snort- literally BAIL) you out.
You'll wonder at how God created such a wonderful human being as
your mother-in-law, as she takes all of your laundry to wash, dry, and fold.
You'll feel really terrible for wondering how this awful thing
could have happened to you, once you realize that just down the ridge
there are families who
left their homes that first night,
and have no idea when they'll be allowed to return.
We're all fine, praise the Lord.
Sending up prayers for those who still wait to even get started on the
evaluation of damage done.
Hugs n' kisses (unless I don't even know you, and then.. ewww..)-
Heather
My car was also having some issues, so I wasn't out & about anyway.
I didn't realize until I saw pictures this week how bad it really was.
If you ever want to feel really incompetent,
avoid spending time in your basement unless absolutely
necessary, even if your bedroom and laundry room are down there.
and shove it down there.
You can do this repeatedly for months on end,
assuring yourself daily that
soon "things will calm down",
and THEN you'll get a complete handle on it.
(Diagnosis..... perfectionism, short attention span,
multi-task performance deficiency,
mother-of-"busy"-toddler-ism,
procrastinati..... I'll finish the list later, but you get the point.)
Later, when there's a stinkin' deluge, and
water seeps into your basement for days on end,
your inadequacy will come to light.
In fact, it will seem to you as though the mostest huge spotlight
(like the kind Crazy Eddie uses for his Midnight Madness sale)
has been shineded down right upon your pajama-clad, bed-headed self.
You'll be humiliated beyond belief.
You'll feel relieved when Mr. Amazing and Moto K -I mean YOUR FAMILY-
don't yell at you, but instead put their durable bodies, forgiving spirits,
and jump-to-it-ive-ness to work to bail (laugh, snort- literally BAIL) you out.
You'll wonder at how God created such a wonderful human being as
your mother-in-law, as she takes all of your laundry to wash, dry, and fold.
You'll feel really terrible for wondering how this awful thing
could have happened to you, once you realize that just down the ridge
there are families who
left their homes that first night,
and have no idea when they'll be allowed to return.
We're all fine, praise the Lord.
Sending up prayers for those who still wait to even get started on the
evaluation of damage done.
Hugs n' kisses (unless I don't even know you, and then.. ewww..)-
Heather
Monday, August 18, 2008
When coupon chicks say....
... "Don't touch my box!"
They are referring to the coupon box. It's sacred, you know.
... " I did Walgreens and Walmart, but not Target. Oh, and I
still need to go CVSing."
They mean that they have gleaned savings of huge proportions
by combining coupons and sales at the stores mentioned.
... " I need multiple inserts."
That chunky little booky-thingy of coupons that comes with the
Sunday paper is called an "insert" (since, you know, it's inserted
into the paper).
... "I NEVER can find a hang-tag, because I don't drink wine, so
I don't get cheap meat."
A "hang-tag" is, oddly enough , a tag-like thing that frequently
hangs around the neck of a bottle of wine, bringing opportunites
for free or discounted meat and other items to its bearer.
I don't want to overwhelm the uncouponly among us, so I'll stop there.
Besides, Mr. Amazing doesn't like it when I blog so late in the evening.
He thinks we need to spend time together.
Which is why I'll be on the lookout for a deal on scissors.
I think he'd enjoy having his very own pair.
Just think of the hours we could spend together.
He could clip, I could sort.
Ya think??? :>)
No? Why not??
**H**
They are referring to the coupon box. It's sacred, you know.
... " I did Walgreens and Walmart, but not Target. Oh, and I
still need to go CVSing."
They mean that they have gleaned savings of huge proportions
by combining coupons and sales at the stores mentioned.
... " I need multiple inserts."
That chunky little booky-thingy of coupons that comes with the
Sunday paper is called an "insert" (since, you know, it's inserted
into the paper).
... "I NEVER can find a hang-tag, because I don't drink wine, so
I don't get cheap meat."
A "hang-tag" is, oddly enough , a tag-like thing that frequently
hangs around the neck of a bottle of wine, bringing opportunites
for free or discounted meat and other items to its bearer.
I don't want to overwhelm the uncouponly among us, so I'll stop there.
Besides, Mr. Amazing doesn't like it when I blog so late in the evening.
He thinks we need to spend time together.
Which is why I'll be on the lookout for a deal on scissors.
I think he'd enjoy having his very own pair.
Just think of the hours we could spend together.
He could clip, I could sort.
Ya think??? :>)
No? Why not??
**H**
See, it's not just me.
I have less than 10 boxes of cereal on hand right now.
Toothpaste, soap, deodorant, and shampoo are plentiful.
If there's another weather crisis this month, do not fear.
I'll bring the toiletries.
Mr. Amazing was just commenting the other day, though,
how surprised he was that I haven't been doin' my deals
like I usually do.
True, true. We've eaten up the last of the Yogos.
We're down to our last pack of razors.....
I jokingly said "Well, you always harass me about all the stuff
I'm bringing home, so I thought that meant you wanted me to
stop."
Mr. Amazing let me know (in no uncertain terms) that indeed
he did NOT want me to stop. He also seemed to be a little
flustered, like I'd somehow be causing him to lose his place
among the elite. (Coupon Husbands... it's this whole elite group
you probably don't know much about. But if you missed the fact
that this post's title is a link to another blog where a husband wrote
about his wife's couponing skills and frugality, it's not too late to learn.
Just click on this:
http://frugalinvirginia.blogspot.com/2008/08/i-married-couponaholic-5-ways-life-has.html)
See, I don't think he wants me to know (lest I get a big head...
a valid concern, I must say) that he brags to all his friends about
my superior couponing and deal-hunting maneuvers. But he does.
They all do.
I've been trying to use up some of what we'd stockpiled.
But it just might be time to head back to the store. I wouldn't
want to shame my husband, you know.
Toothpaste, soap, deodorant, and shampoo are plentiful.
If there's another weather crisis this month, do not fear.
I'll bring the toiletries.
Mr. Amazing was just commenting the other day, though,
how surprised he was that I haven't been doin' my deals
like I usually do.
True, true. We've eaten up the last of the Yogos.
We're down to our last pack of razors.....
I jokingly said "Well, you always harass me about all the stuff
I'm bringing home, so I thought that meant you wanted me to
stop."
Mr. Amazing let me know (in no uncertain terms) that indeed
he did NOT want me to stop. He also seemed to be a little
flustered, like I'd somehow be causing him to lose his place
among the elite. (Coupon Husbands... it's this whole elite group
you probably don't know much about. But if you missed the fact
that this post's title is a link to another blog where a husband wrote
about his wife's couponing skills and frugality, it's not too late to learn.
Just click on this:
http://frugalinvirginia.blogspot.com/2008/08/i-married-couponaholic-5-ways-life-has.html)
See, I don't think he wants me to know (lest I get a big head...
a valid concern, I must say) that he brags to all his friends about
my superior couponing and deal-hunting maneuvers. But he does.
They all do.
I've been trying to use up some of what we'd stockpiled.
But it just might be time to head back to the store. I wouldn't
want to shame my husband, you know.
Monday, August 11, 2008
Announcement/ Invitation
Queen B just wants everyone to know that yes, she is now 3.
And she enjoyed her party (over a month ago).
But she's having another one.
(She asks everyone she meets if they can come to her party!)
Auntie Latcher (not her REAL name, you know....)
was the first to get wind of the actual date of this party.
Wanna know when it is?!?!
Tuesdember Eight.
We hope you will be there.
According to Queen B, it will be so fun, and you will love it.
Thanks.
Please RSVP by Muntober Twunteenst.
And she enjoyed her party (over a month ago).
But she's having another one.
(She asks everyone she meets if they can come to her party!)
Auntie Latcher (not her REAL name, you know....)
was the first to get wind of the actual date of this party.
Wanna know when it is?!?!
Tuesdember Eight.
We hope you will be there.
According to Queen B, it will be so fun, and you will love it.
Thanks.
Please RSVP by Muntober Twunteenst.
Friday, August 1, 2008
Pathetic, I say.
I've been doing things like :
reorganizing kitchen cabinets
paying bills
cleaning up spills
making a dinner at home now and then
(I know, what a concept, right??)
listening to books on tape
trying to stay out of the heat
and so on.
In my opinion, these are very boring things
to talk to other people about. And, if I were to
do so, the other people might decide that *I*
was very boring.
And, uh, CLEARLY, I'm not.
This is where you should affirm me.
Say that I'm not boring.
Go ahead.
I'll wait.
So, I've been silent so you could just think
I'd been busy doing important, interesting things.
And, now that you know the truth, please take an
EXTRA moment to be in awe of how interesting
it's been just reading about how boring I'm not.
There, that will have to do for now.
**H**
reorganizing kitchen cabinets
paying bills
cleaning up spills
making a dinner at home now and then
(I know, what a concept, right??)
listening to books on tape
trying to stay out of the heat
and so on.
In my opinion, these are very boring things
to talk to other people about. And, if I were to
do so, the other people might decide that *I*
was very boring.
And, uh, CLEARLY, I'm not.
This is where you should affirm me.
Say that I'm not boring.
Go ahead.
I'll wait.
So, I've been silent so you could just think
I'd been busy doing important, interesting things.
And, now that you know the truth, please take an
EXTRA moment to be in awe of how interesting
it's been just reading about how boring I'm not.
There, that will have to do for now.
**H**
Friday, July 11, 2008
The Lemon-O Method of P*tty Training
So, Queen B is mostly potty trained.
We've had a few "incidents" that resulted
in some items getting wet that I would have
preferred remain dry, but....whatcha gonna do??
It was just yesterday morning that I learned the
proper name of our current potty training method.
Here's how it happened:
Me: Do you have to p*tty?
QB: No
Me: Are you sure?
QB: Yes.
Me: Don't p*tty your pants. You've got big girl pants on.
QB: I will do Lemon-O.
Me: What??
QB: I will just do Lemon-O.
Me: What is Lemon-O?
QB: You say, " If you have to go p*tty, Lemon-O."
Me: (talking to self, really thinking about the words.... I say "Lemon-O" ??...
....what in the WORLD is Lemon-O... when do I say "Lemon-O" ???
.....hhhmmmm..... [STOP]
So.... have you figured it out, or shall I explain??
Lemon-O.
Say it fast.
"If you have to go p*tty, Lemon-O."
"If you have to go p*tty, LEMONO."
...
...
...
"If you have to go p*tty, LEMME NO."
.......
"If you have to go p*tty, LET ME KNOW."
Brilliant plan, Queen B. Simply brilliant.
We should market this method.
:>)
**H**
We've had a few "incidents" that resulted
in some items getting wet that I would have
preferred remain dry, but....whatcha gonna do??
It was just yesterday morning that I learned the
proper name of our current potty training method.
Here's how it happened:
Me: Do you have to p*tty?
QB: No
Me: Are you sure?
QB: Yes.
Me: Don't p*tty your pants. You've got big girl pants on.
QB: I will do Lemon-O.
Me: What??
QB: I will just do Lemon-O.
Me: What is Lemon-O?
QB: You say, " If you have to go p*tty, Lemon-O."
Me: (talking to self, really thinking about the words.... I say "Lemon-O" ??...
....what in the WORLD is Lemon-O... when do I say "Lemon-O" ???
.....hhhmmmm..... [STOP]
So.... have you figured it out, or shall I explain??
Lemon-O.
Say it fast.
"If you have to go p*tty, Lemon-O."
"If you have to go p*tty, LEMONO."
...
...
...
"If you have to go p*tty, LEMME NO."
.......
"If you have to go p*tty, LET ME KNOW."
Brilliant plan, Queen B. Simply brilliant.
We should market this method.
:>)
**H**
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
In response to the masses who've asked....
Well, only one person asked.
And it's someone who loves me.
Yep, I'm at the lake.
Moto K is at camp, and Queen B is
having a grand time with her cousins.
I've been silent because the last thing
I could think of to post had to do with
Obama on the cover of Rolling Stone.
And it came out all weird when I tried to
post it.
So I just didn't.
And now you may or may not wonder what
I was going to say.
It just doesn't matter.
Let's talk later, when I'm not leaving for lunch, ok?
**H**
And it's someone who loves me.
Yep, I'm at the lake.
Moto K is at camp, and Queen B is
having a grand time with her cousins.
I've been silent because the last thing
I could think of to post had to do with
Obama on the cover of Rolling Stone.
And it came out all weird when I tried to
post it.
So I just didn't.
And now you may or may not wonder what
I was going to say.
It just doesn't matter.
Let's talk later, when I'm not leaving for lunch, ok?
**H**
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
SheSpeaks was great, and then there's my real life. :>)
Well, I haven't had even a moment to figure out what I really got out of the
conference I attended this past weekend.
Mr. Amazing was in Michigan racing his motorcycle,
and my dear friend was here with the kids.
Though he did bring home both first and second place trophies,
Mr. Amazing also brought home a sling and some pain medication,
you know... "souvenirs" from his stay in the critical care unit.
He's got broken collar bone, a few broken ribs, and a small
puncture in his left lung. Nice.
Poor thing. He's really hurting.
While Mr. Amazing sat in the hospital, I made my way through
flight delays and crazy weather from North Carolina to Michigan.
Monday was spent coming home from Michigan.
Today was today.
I'm trying to plow my way through laundry, our regular weekly
commitments, and my new "nurse" duties.
I'm sure I'll catch up and have something to say about
the conference, but right now my brain hurts.
Peace and love, my peeps.
**H**
conference I attended this past weekend.
Mr. Amazing was in Michigan racing his motorcycle,
and my dear friend was here with the kids.
Though he did bring home both first and second place trophies,
Mr. Amazing also brought home a sling and some pain medication,
you know... "souvenirs" from his stay in the critical care unit.
He's got broken collar bone, a few broken ribs, and a small
puncture in his left lung. Nice.
Poor thing. He's really hurting.
While Mr. Amazing sat in the hospital, I made my way through
flight delays and crazy weather from North Carolina to Michigan.
Monday was spent coming home from Michigan.
Today was today.
I'm trying to plow my way through laundry, our regular weekly
commitments, and my new "nurse" duties.
I'm sure I'll catch up and have something to say about
the conference, but right now my brain hurts.
Peace and love, my peeps.
**H**
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Lyrics, courtesy of Queen B
Queen B sings:
"Din-gle, din-gle, baby to-night with a belt on my side...."
Translation (sing with us if you can):
"I can't see me lovin' nobody but you for all my life..."
:>)
She's still talking about American Idol.
Moto K forced me to download a bunch of songs
from this season, so we've been listening to them
in the car for a month.
We've been so impressed at how Queen B can sing right
along with Jason, David C., Brooke, Carly, even Chikezie.
Who knew that all the contestants had the words wrong?
BTW...
When Queen B tries to sing Carly's version of Come Together,
the "I know you, you know me, one thing I can tell you..."
comes out a bit Barney-ish:
"I know you, you know me, one thing I can tell you is
you've got to be free.... with a great big hug and a kiss
from me to you... right now....... OVER ME!"
Rock on! :>)
**H**
"Din-gle, din-gle, baby to-night with a belt on my side...."
Translation (sing with us if you can):
"I can't see me lovin' nobody but you for all my life..."
:>)
She's still talking about American Idol.
Moto K forced me to download a bunch of songs
from this season, so we've been listening to them
in the car for a month.
We've been so impressed at how Queen B can sing right
along with Jason, David C., Brooke, Carly, even Chikezie.
Who knew that all the contestants had the words wrong?
BTW...
When Queen B tries to sing Carly's version of Come Together,
the "I know you, you know me, one thing I can tell you..."
comes out a bit Barney-ish:
"I know you, you know me, one thing I can tell you is
you've got to be free.... with a great big hug and a kiss
from me to you... right now....... OVER ME!"
Rock on! :>)
**H**
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
In 2 days I leave for SHE SPEAKS!
It's a writers' conference. Well, it's a writer's conference.
AND it's a writers' conference. It's both. :>)
I'm excited. I'm nervous. Intimidated.
Scared out of my mind.... but looking forward to it.
Please pray that all will be well as my little family spreads
out all over the country.
My kids will be home with my most wonderful friend, Kim.
Mr. Amazing will be off somewhere on a motorcycle.
(It's a really important event, y'all... it's not like he could just
NOT go.... I mean, really....what are you insinuating?)
To those others attending the conference... I'm praying for you
and yours! See you there!
**H**
AND it's a writers' conference. It's both. :>)
I'm excited. I'm nervous. Intimidated.
Scared out of my mind.... but looking forward to it.
Please pray that all will be well as my little family spreads
out all over the country.
My kids will be home with my most wonderful friend, Kim.
Mr. Amazing will be off somewhere on a motorcycle.
(It's a really important event, y'all... it's not like he could just
NOT go.... I mean, really....what are you insinuating?)
To those others attending the conference... I'm praying for you
and yours! See you there!
**H**
Friday, June 13, 2008
Happy Anniversary to us..... SIXTEEN YEARS!!!
We had some plans for this weekend, but now they've
changed. They weren't really romantic or anniversary-ish,
anyway. (Last year we sided the house... woooo....S-T-E-A-M-Y!!!)
We were supposed to go to Michigan...now we're just going
to dinner.
Just before the last decade of the previous century began
(December, 1990)
Mr. Amazing asked me to marry him. I said
"Sure, fine, whatever...."
(Ok, that's not really what I said.)
So, on June 13 of 1992, we got married.
The day before Flag Day. We purposely scheduled it
that way (not really).
See, then, if the flags are out we'll know we've
missed it.
We never HAVE missed it. But, you know... just in case.
Kind of like a little insurance policy.
(Insurance? Knowing you've missed it?
More of an informance policy, if there is such a thing.)
At any rate....
in the past SIXTEEN years we've moved all over the country
enjoying scenery and collecting children (kidding, but
had to say it anyway, since our kids WERE born on
different continents).
We now find ourselves living just a few blocks
from our first home together, which is also just
across the street from where Mr.Amazing's mama laid his
little tiny infant head on his first night home from the hospital.
We've been married so long that the babies at our wedding
are now graduating from high school. Unfathomable.
Stop the clock right now!
(Deep breath! I can NOT afford to get all emotional
about the passage of time today.)
I'm proud to say we've survived SIXTEEN years of marriage.
We're committed, or need to be.
We're in love and/or too stubborn to quit.
It hasn't always been a bed of roses. I don't mind. Roses
are beautiful, but they don't smell good. Not to mention the
thorns. Come to think of it, maybe it HAS been a bed of
roses. :>) I joke, I joke!
Seriously, Mr. Amazing, I want you to know....
changed. They weren't really romantic or anniversary-ish,
anyway. (Last year we sided the house... woooo....S-T-E-A-M-Y!!!)
We were supposed to go to Michigan...now we're just going
to dinner.
Just before the last decade of the previous century began
(December, 1990)
Mr. Amazing asked me to marry him. I said
"Sure, fine, whatever...."
(Ok, that's not really what I said.)
So, on June 13 of 1992, we got married.
The day before Flag Day. We purposely scheduled it
that way (not really).
See, then, if the flags are out we'll know we've
missed it.
We never HAVE missed it. But, you know... just in case.
Kind of like a little insurance policy.
(Insurance? Knowing you've missed it?
More of an informance policy, if there is such a thing.)
At any rate....
in the past SIXTEEN years we've moved all over the country
enjoying scenery and collecting children (kidding, but
had to say it anyway, since our kids WERE born on
different continents).
We now find ourselves living just a few blocks
from our first home together, which is also just
across the street from where Mr.Amazing's mama laid his
little tiny infant head on his first night home from the hospital.
We've been married so long that the babies at our wedding
are now graduating from high school. Unfathomable.
Stop the clock right now!
(Deep breath! I can NOT afford to get all emotional
about the passage of time today.)
I'm proud to say we've survived SIXTEEN years of marriage.
We're committed, or need to be.
We're in love and/or too stubborn to quit.
It hasn't always been a bed of roses. I don't mind. Roses
are beautiful, but they don't smell good. Not to mention the
thorns. Come to think of it, maybe it HAS been a bed of
roses. :>) I joke, I joke!
Seriously, Mr. Amazing, I want you to know....
I STILL DO!
Thursday, June 12, 2008
This makes me laugh REALLY hard!
EDIT: APOLOGIZING FOR MY CONTINUED
RANDOMNESS. I CERTAINLY COULD HAVE
PUT THIS POST TOGETHER IN A WAY THAT
WOULD HAVE MADE MORE SENSE TO EVERYONE
ELSE. OF COURSE, IT MADE PERFECT SENSE TO ME
UNTIL I TRIED TO GO BACK AND READ IT AS "YOU".
SO... TO SUMMARIZE...THE VIDEO IS A COMEDIC
PORTRAYAL OF A WACKY HOMESCHOOL FAMILY.
I BLATANTLY STOLE IT FROM ANOTHER BLOG...
AND SO ON...
BUT THE ORIG. POST READ LIKE THIS:
Willing to admit: Blog envy.
Reason for envy: Haven't yet learned to use all features availabe to
enhance blogging experience for self and readers.
Pretending to really be sad about: Others being more awesomer
& more blogariffic than I.
Content to: Just be myself until such time as I am able to achieve
a higher level of awesomeness & blogariffawhateveritis.
Watched today: YouTube video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z-HL2sFX8RA
(Title of this post is also the link!)
Where I saw it: Embedded in a blog.
Blogger's name: DeeDee
How it made me feel: Rapid breathing, hysterical laughter, difficulty
controlling spontaneous urination.
And you might enjoy reading: The "Best Of" posts on DeeDee's blog.
http://fiddledeedee.net/best-of-fiddledeedee/
What I'll do to combat my envy: Eat some ice cream.
Effectiveness level of my plan: Completely ineffective.
How I feel about having an ineffective plan: Willing to accept it and
get on to the part about the ice cream.
Thanks for listening.
Have a great evening.
**H**
RANDOMNESS. I CERTAINLY COULD HAVE
PUT THIS POST TOGETHER IN A WAY THAT
WOULD HAVE MADE MORE SENSE TO EVERYONE
ELSE. OF COURSE, IT MADE PERFECT SENSE TO ME
UNTIL I TRIED TO GO BACK AND READ IT AS "YOU".
SO... TO SUMMARIZE...THE VIDEO IS A COMEDIC
PORTRAYAL OF A WACKY HOMESCHOOL FAMILY.
I BLATANTLY STOLE IT FROM ANOTHER BLOG...
AND SO ON...
BUT THE ORIG. POST READ LIKE THIS:
Willing to admit: Blog envy.
Reason for envy: Haven't yet learned to use all features availabe to
enhance blogging experience for self and readers.
Pretending to really be sad about: Others being more awesomer
& more blogariffic than I.
Content to: Just be myself until such time as I am able to achieve
a higher level of awesomeness & blogariffawhateveritis.
Watched today: YouTube video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z-HL2sFX8RA
(Title of this post is also the link!)
Where I saw it: Embedded in a blog.
Blogger's name: DeeDee
How it made me feel: Rapid breathing, hysterical laughter, difficulty
controlling spontaneous urination.
And you might enjoy reading: The "Best Of" posts on DeeDee's blog.
http://fiddledeedee.net/best-of-fiddledeedee/
What I'll do to combat my envy: Eat some ice cream.
Effectiveness level of my plan: Completely ineffective.
How I feel about having an ineffective plan: Willing to accept it and
get on to the part about the ice cream.
Thanks for listening.
Have a great evening.
**H**
Saturday, June 7, 2008
Do you shred pre-approved credit applications?
Do you tear them up?
Do you just throw them away?
You might be interested to read the post below from
cockeyed.com.
The author shredded, taped back together, and changed
the address on one of his own pre-approved applications.
Then he gave a cell phone number so he wouldn't have to
be at his home number when he called to activate the card.
How convenient (for a CRIMINAL!), right?
(Link takes you to page 1 . At the bottom of each page is a link
that takes you to the next page to continue reading.)
http://www.cockeyed.com/citizen/creditcard/application.shtml
When we get pre-approved offers, I generally try to mutilate
the address and my name, then just tear up the rest.
This method would be ineffective, though, if someone were
to find something else in the bag with my name and address or
actually steal garbage FROM my address, thereby knowing the
address from whence it came. :>)
(Not an advertisement for this service, just talking about
something.... :>)
We've recently purchased LIFELOCK coverage for all four of us.
http://www.lifelock.com/
Yep. All four of us. Because, the way I see it, for just over
$2 a month (I entered promo code RD3 when I signed up,
so we got a discount!)
I'm attempting to ensure that some creepo won't get ahold
of any of our So-So Security numbers. Imagine the damage
a criminal could do to a child's credit (undetected) before
they ever reach adulthood.
That would be a long time for a creepo to be
out there wreaking havoc, would it not?
Now, LIFELOCK is not completely foolproof.
Link to article about its failings here:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080522/ap_on_hi_te/identity_fraud_flap
I don't think anything is completely foolproof.
Because the is "absolutely confident" of their services, he has
his So-So number listed on the LIFELOCK website.
Since I don't plan on publishing any of our So-So numbers,
odds of that NOT happening to us are a bit better. So while
I'm not absolutely confident, I'm pretty confident in their services
in general.
My cousin's credit card number was recently stolen and used online.
The thief 's charges were approved. Her credit card company actually
declined one of her actual charges and questioned her about another.
Last I heard, it was expected that all would work out, that she wouldn't
have to pay for the fraudulent charges. But it could have been worse.
There were thousands of dollars in available credit on that card!
We talked about services like LIFELOCK. She was going to look into it.
Not sure what she decided to do. Her experience prompted me to just
go ahead and do something I've been thinking about doing for a long time.
You can read more about LIFELOCK in the link. I'm not asking you
to use LIFELOCK... just telling you that I do.
And I'm not asking you dispose of your pre-approved credit card
applications in any certain way. I'm just saying that what I thought
was an ok method may not have been. But I won't even really have
to worry about that anymore, since one of the things the service is
supposed to do is stop pre-approved offers from coming in the mail.
Ok, I'm done rambling about that now.
What's for lunch?
**H**
Do you just throw them away?
You might be interested to read the post below from
cockeyed.com.
The author shredded, taped back together, and changed
the address on one of his own pre-approved applications.
Then he gave a cell phone number so he wouldn't have to
be at his home number when he called to activate the card.
How convenient (for a CRIMINAL!), right?
(Link takes you to page 1 . At the bottom of each page is a link
that takes you to the next page to continue reading.)
http://www.cockeyed.com/citizen/creditcard/application.shtml
When we get pre-approved offers, I generally try to mutilate
the address and my name, then just tear up the rest.
This method would be ineffective, though, if someone were
to find something else in the bag with my name and address or
actually steal garbage FROM my address, thereby knowing the
address from whence it came. :>)
(Not an advertisement for this service, just talking about
something.... :>)
We've recently purchased LIFELOCK coverage for all four of us.
http://www.lifelock.com/
Yep. All four of us. Because, the way I see it, for just over
$2 a month (I entered promo code RD3 when I signed up,
so we got a discount!)
I'm attempting to ensure that some creepo won't get ahold
of any of our So-So Security numbers. Imagine the damage
a criminal could do to a child's credit (undetected) before
they ever reach adulthood.
That would be a long time for a creepo to be
out there wreaking havoc, would it not?
Now, LIFELOCK is not completely foolproof.
Link to article about its failings here:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080522/ap_on_hi_te/identity_fraud_flap
I don't think anything is completely foolproof.
Because the is "absolutely confident" of their services, he has
his So-So number listed on the LIFELOCK website.
Since I don't plan on publishing any of our So-So numbers,
odds of that NOT happening to us are a bit better. So while
I'm not absolutely confident, I'm pretty confident in their services
in general.
My cousin's credit card number was recently stolen and used online.
The thief 's charges were approved. Her credit card company actually
declined one of her actual charges and questioned her about another.
Last I heard, it was expected that all would work out, that she wouldn't
have to pay for the fraudulent charges. But it could have been worse.
There were thousands of dollars in available credit on that card!
We talked about services like LIFELOCK. She was going to look into it.
Not sure what she decided to do. Her experience prompted me to just
go ahead and do something I've been thinking about doing for a long time.
You can read more about LIFELOCK in the link. I'm not asking you
to use LIFELOCK... just telling you that I do.
And I'm not asking you dispose of your pre-approved credit card
applications in any certain way. I'm just saying that what I thought
was an ok method may not have been. But I won't even really have
to worry about that anymore, since one of the things the service is
supposed to do is stop pre-approved offers from coming in the mail.
Ok, I'm done rambling about that now.
What's for lunch?
**H**
Friday, June 6, 2008
Moto K caught a fish!
It has been reported that Moto K recently caught a bass
with an approximate length of 346 inches. This, of course,
is an extreme exaggeration.
That's what we've been told all fishermen do.
But we DO have a picture of it.
From the picture, it appears to be about 9 inches long.
Moto K reports using a rubber minnow as bait.
We are so very proud, and we thought you should know.
Thank you.
Good day.
We said "Good day."
Hang up now.
Hang up.
You hang up first.
K, bye!
**H**
with an approximate length of 346 inches. This, of course,
is an extreme exaggeration.
That's what we've been told all fishermen do.
But we DO have a picture of it.
From the picture, it appears to be about 9 inches long.
Moto K reports using a rubber minnow as bait.
We are so very proud, and we thought you should know.
Thank you.
Good day.
We said "Good day."
Hang up now.
Hang up.
You hang up first.
K, bye!
**H**
Sit & Spin
Queen B recently discovered the Sit & Spin.
We've owned it for years, but I've managed to keep it hidden.
I believe it was purchased at a garage sale
or given to us when Moto K was just a tiny thing.
It's one of those toys you can't put away very well
without putting it somewhere out of the way
where it is forgotten.
Honestly, since it's been out I've spent at least
some of the time wishing it was still forgotten.
While I transferred clothes to the dryer from the washer
Queen B had her first few Sit & Spin rides just outside
the laundry room.
She entered the laundry room breathless...
QB: What's it called?
Me: Sit & Spin
QB: Sit & Spin & Fall Off?
Me: (chuckling) No, Sit & Spin.
QB: (determined to get this straight) Sit & Spin & Fall Off.
Me: No, just Sit & Spin.
QB: (frowing, disgusted, walking away) Well.... I fall off.
He-he-he......
Moments later, in attempt to REALLY impress Moto K,
she decided to test the item's versatility as
a Stand & Spin.
This proved to be a bad idea, as demonstrated
by the launching of Queen B from said item into
Superman-style flight. (Great if you're a super
hero, not so great if the door frame of the laundry
room is near where your face is fixin' to land.)
I've seen newer versions of the Sit & Spin online.
They have all sorts of bells & whistles.
They don't get very good reviews, though.
Though I have no personal experience with this,
I'm going to just go ahead and say that the
new/improved versions are probably not as good
as the original.
Is it even possible to make the experience
of spinning until you want to puke better for a kid
by adding lights and sounds?
Heck, I was happy spinning while sitting on wheeled,
swiveling kitchen chairs. (Disclaimer: Spinning on
said chairs was strictly forbidden, but moms and
grandmas have to go potty or run out to the mailbox
SOMETIME!!!)
I find this particular version most laughable.
http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2264825
As IF!
Simon is NOT the boss of me. I have a feeling Queen B would
have a similar point of view. Guess we'll stick with the original.
Gotta run.
Saw an ad for a garage sale down the street. Guess what they have...
swiveling kitchen chairs on wheels, baby!! :>)
**H**
We've owned it for years, but I've managed to keep it hidden.
I believe it was purchased at a garage sale
or given to us when Moto K was just a tiny thing.
It's one of those toys you can't put away very well
without putting it somewhere out of the way
where it is forgotten.
Honestly, since it's been out I've spent at least
some of the time wishing it was still forgotten.
While I transferred clothes to the dryer from the washer
Queen B had her first few Sit & Spin rides just outside
the laundry room.
She entered the laundry room breathless...
QB: What's it called?
Me: Sit & Spin
QB: Sit & Spin & Fall Off?
Me: (chuckling) No, Sit & Spin.
QB: (determined to get this straight) Sit & Spin & Fall Off.
Me: No, just Sit & Spin.
QB: (frowing, disgusted, walking away) Well.... I fall off.
He-he-he......
Moments later, in attempt to REALLY impress Moto K,
she decided to test the item's versatility as
a Stand & Spin.
This proved to be a bad idea, as demonstrated
by the launching of Queen B from said item into
Superman-style flight. (Great if you're a super
hero, not so great if the door frame of the laundry
room is near where your face is fixin' to land.)
I've seen newer versions of the Sit & Spin online.
They have all sorts of bells & whistles.
They don't get very good reviews, though.
Though I have no personal experience with this,
I'm going to just go ahead and say that the
new/improved versions are probably not as good
as the original.
Is it even possible to make the experience
of spinning until you want to puke better for a kid
by adding lights and sounds?
Heck, I was happy spinning while sitting on wheeled,
swiveling kitchen chairs. (Disclaimer: Spinning on
said chairs was strictly forbidden, but moms and
grandmas have to go potty or run out to the mailbox
SOMETIME!!!)
I find this particular version most laughable.
http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2264825
As IF!
Simon is NOT the boss of me. I have a feeling Queen B would
have a similar point of view. Guess we'll stick with the original.
Gotta run.
Saw an ad for a garage sale down the street. Guess what they have...
swiveling kitchen chairs on wheels, baby!! :>)
**H**
Friday, May 30, 2008
I've been asleep since Tuesday night...what'd I miss?
The kids and I were traveling from Tuesday to Tuesday,
covering ground from the Windy City to the Ozarks,
to David Cook's hometown, and back home.
I went to bed every night we were gone.
Really, I did. I slept, I think. I
didn't feel completely exhausted on the trip. But... WOW!
I have done just about nothing except sleep
and take care of my kids (between naps) since I've been home.
What's in the air out there?!? I mean, REALLY!!!???
But now I'm home. I feel more rested. I'm starting
to come around.
Just thought you should know.
Thanks for listening.
** H **
covering ground from the Windy City to the Ozarks,
to David Cook's hometown, and back home.
I went to bed every night we were gone.
Really, I did. I slept, I think. I
didn't feel completely exhausted on the trip. But... WOW!
I have done just about nothing except sleep
and take care of my kids (between naps) since I've been home.
What's in the air out there?!? I mean, REALLY!!!???
But now I'm home. I feel more rested. I'm starting
to come around.
Just thought you should know.
Thanks for listening.
** H **
Sunday, May 18, 2008
R-E-S-P-E-C-T at the C-H-E-C-K-O-U-T
:>)
I'm the one you hate to be behind.
If there's a problem, I'll have it. If it's not that
the item is priced incorrectly, the cashier will jam
the register tape. Or the computer won't like
my coupon. Or... whatever will take a long time.
I like all my groceries to be stacked on the belt
BEFORE the cashier begins ringing. There are
a couple different reasons for this:
* There's a strange sensory thing that happens
to me when I'm trying to place groceries on a
moving belt. I get so stressed out! I start to sweat
and everything. Woe to the person who tries to carry
on a conversation with me WHILE the groceries are
moving. Paper or plastic? I don't know, lady, just put
the stuff in a bag and turn off that moving belt thingy!
And...
* I usually shop very carefully, so I like to watch the prices
as they ring up. It helps me catch problems as they occur
instead of having to scrutinize the receipt later
(which I still sometimes do).
I also feel bad when I've shopped so carefully that I have
coupons for just about every item I'm buying and someone
in a hurry gets in line behind me. I mean, I shouldn't feel
bad, but I do. I just do.
Most people are understanding, but some are downright
rude. I'll admit that sometimes it's entertaining to be me,
though. Even at the checkout.
There's a common scenario that plays out over and over
again, usually with a big, burly... MANLY man behind me.
I'll use tonight's incident as an example.
I was at Walgreen's. It was closing time. All the customers
left in the store, including me, were making their way to the
front of the store with their final purchases. The cashiers
from the camera and cosmetic departments had already
clocked out.
I had two separate transactions I needed to do. While trying
to get the two orders separated correctly and keep coupons
straight for each order, I was aware of a line forming behind me.
I knew it was coming when I saw the guy walk up, two places
behind me in the line. To no one in particular, he growled,
"Are you @#$%^&* KIDDING ME?!"
Then he apologized for saying that out loud. :>)
BTW... he was buying Nicorette gum. "Maybe he's having
his own brand of checkout anxiety," I thought, "I should just
ignore him."
As the cashier rang up my first order, then my coupons, leaving me
with a total of 96 cents due, Mr. KIDDING ME was transformed
from a grouchy guy in need of a piece of Nicorette to an interested
spectator.
He sighed and said, "Well, she's doing it right... coming in late at night
to get this stuff done......." still watching me....
As people joined the growing line behind us, Mr. KIDDING ME would
respond to their sighs and groans with "Naw, it's alright... she's almost
done."
He asked, almost lightheartedly,
"Hey, do you have coupons for all of our [stuff]?"
I smiled at him and said..... "maybe...."
While the cashier deducted my coupons, bringing my total down from
$35.98 to $5.09, my fan club grew.
When a newcomer to the line asked "Are we going to be here all night?",
my new friend, Mr. KIDDING ME answered on my behalf....
"You just don't worry about it! Stand back and let that woman DO
what she's got to DO!... besides, she's done now.... "
With that, I gathered my things, smiled at my "public" and bade
them all a good night.
They returned my "goodnight", and several asked me to
"have a good one" or "take it easy".
None of them asked me to clip more coupons, though.
I don't know why.
I'm the one you hate to be behind.
If there's a problem, I'll have it. If it's not that
the item is priced incorrectly, the cashier will jam
the register tape. Or the computer won't like
my coupon. Or... whatever will take a long time.
I like all my groceries to be stacked on the belt
BEFORE the cashier begins ringing. There are
a couple different reasons for this:
* There's a strange sensory thing that happens
to me when I'm trying to place groceries on a
moving belt. I get so stressed out! I start to sweat
and everything. Woe to the person who tries to carry
on a conversation with me WHILE the groceries are
moving. Paper or plastic? I don't know, lady, just put
the stuff in a bag and turn off that moving belt thingy!
And...
* I usually shop very carefully, so I like to watch the prices
as they ring up. It helps me catch problems as they occur
instead of having to scrutinize the receipt later
(which I still sometimes do).
I also feel bad when I've shopped so carefully that I have
coupons for just about every item I'm buying and someone
in a hurry gets in line behind me. I mean, I shouldn't feel
bad, but I do. I just do.
Most people are understanding, but some are downright
rude. I'll admit that sometimes it's entertaining to be me,
though. Even at the checkout.
There's a common scenario that plays out over and over
again, usually with a big, burly... MANLY man behind me.
I'll use tonight's incident as an example.
I was at Walgreen's. It was closing time. All the customers
left in the store, including me, were making their way to the
front of the store with their final purchases. The cashiers
from the camera and cosmetic departments had already
clocked out.
I had two separate transactions I needed to do. While trying
to get the two orders separated correctly and keep coupons
straight for each order, I was aware of a line forming behind me.
I knew it was coming when I saw the guy walk up, two places
behind me in the line. To no one in particular, he growled,
"Are you @#$%^&* KIDDING ME?!"
Then he apologized for saying that out loud. :>)
BTW... he was buying Nicorette gum. "Maybe he's having
his own brand of checkout anxiety," I thought, "I should just
ignore him."
As the cashier rang up my first order, then my coupons, leaving me
with a total of 96 cents due, Mr. KIDDING ME was transformed
from a grouchy guy in need of a piece of Nicorette to an interested
spectator.
He sighed and said, "Well, she's doing it right... coming in late at night
to get this stuff done......." still watching me....
As people joined the growing line behind us, Mr. KIDDING ME would
respond to their sighs and groans with "Naw, it's alright... she's almost
done."
He asked, almost lightheartedly,
"Hey, do you have coupons for all of our [stuff]?"
I smiled at him and said..... "maybe...."
While the cashier deducted my coupons, bringing my total down from
$35.98 to $5.09, my fan club grew.
When a newcomer to the line asked "Are we going to be here all night?",
my new friend, Mr. KIDDING ME answered on my behalf....
"You just don't worry about it! Stand back and let that woman DO
what she's got to DO!... besides, she's done now.... "
With that, I gathered my things, smiled at my "public" and bade
them all a good night.
They returned my "goodnight", and several asked me to
"have a good one" or "take it easy".
None of them asked me to clip more coupons, though.
I don't know why.
Public Service Announcement - Big Fat Check from Ebates!
I'm getting my BIG FAT CHECK from Ebates
for just over $125.00 sometime in the next week.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing
with the $40 in Target gift cards they also sent me...
well, those have been transformed into a new
toaster oven that appears to be quite capable of incinerating
a piece of bread. I don't want to discuss it.
I do want to discuss the Ebates check thing, though. They're doing
the double sign-up bonus again. If you haven't signed up yet and would
like to do so, post a comment here so I can email my signup link to you.
(I don't use the "gonnacallit" email address for Ebates.)
It's cool. It's pretty easy... and I'm getting a big fat check.
Do you want one?
** H **
for just over $125.00 sometime in the next week.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing
with the $40 in Target gift cards they also sent me...
well, those have been transformed into a new
toaster oven that appears to be quite capable of incinerating
a piece of bread. I don't want to discuss it.
I do want to discuss the Ebates check thing, though. They're doing
the double sign-up bonus again. If you haven't signed up yet and would
like to do so, post a comment here so I can email my signup link to you.
(I don't use the "gonnacallit" email address for Ebates.)
It's cool. It's pretty easy... and I'm getting a big fat check.
Do you want one?
** H **
Everything and Nothing to say
When I have nothing to say but insist on talking anyway,
I'm very likely to say something weird.
Or something that entertains me completely but
leaves others scratching their heads.
I've thought of a babillion things to say, then decided
against saying them because of their non-importance.
By the way.... "Babillion" is a number that is
not talked about much, on account of getting
over-shadowed by its more biggerer relative,
"Go-jillion", who is often referred to as "Ga-jillion".
Both are gi-normous numbers, and neither should be
confused with "Ba-zillion"and/or "Ga-zillion",
because those are like completely different numbers.
Right about now you're thanking God that I'm not
YOUR math teacher, right??
Anyway....
just skip to the next post.
** H **
I'm very likely to say something weird.
Or something that entertains me completely but
leaves others scratching their heads.
I've thought of a babillion things to say, then decided
against saying them because of their non-importance.
By the way.... "Babillion" is a number that is
not talked about much, on account of getting
over-shadowed by its more biggerer relative,
"Go-jillion", who is often referred to as "Ga-jillion".
Both are gi-normous numbers, and neither should be
confused with "Ba-zillion"and/or "Ga-zillion",
because those are like completely different numbers.
Right about now you're thanking God that I'm not
YOUR math teacher, right??
Anyway....
just skip to the next post.
** H **
Friday, May 9, 2008
Ok, I know... it didn't make sense to anyone but me.
My apologies for the BEDAZZLE post.
You didn't get it.
I know.
It wasn't funny to you, and it didn't make any sense.
Here's the worsterest part about it.
I won't delete it.
Because it makes me giggle at me.
Self-indulgent?
I know.
Self-serving?
Maybe.
Soooo..... more later about something else.
Right now I'm going to go digest.
** H **
You didn't get it.
I know.
It wasn't funny to you, and it didn't make any sense.
Here's the worsterest part about it.
I won't delete it.
Because it makes me giggle at me.
Self-indulgent?
I know.
Self-serving?
Maybe.
Soooo..... more later about something else.
Right now I'm going to go digest.
** H **
Thursday, May 8, 2008
For your bedazzlement....
Perhaps you've noticed I haven't been around for a couple of days.
Maybe you have not. This isn't about whether or not you've missed
me. It's about bedazzling.
But, for the sake of argument, let's say you HAVE missed me.
Even if you don't actually say it out loud, I'm going to pretend
you have. Then I'm going to talk to you like this:
It's not that I think I'm someone special,
or that I think you think it.
(Oh, by the way, though, God did make me special.
And He loves me very much. Bob and Larry told me about
it and I choose to acknowledge the probability that they are
correct.)
I also choose to acknowledge that some folks may just feel
sheer annoyance toward me. Perhaps a select few experience
alternating feelings of absolute delight and debilitating anger
Yep, I'm sure it IS a winner. But I can't really say, since
I never owned a Bedazzler. My parents said I didn't need one.
(Sigh...admitting they were probably right, ... sigh again.)
But I do kind of wonder... how might I be different
today if I'd gotten all my bedazzling done as a child??????
Disclaimer: Please don't go buy me a Bedazzler. :>)
I don't want a Bedazzler now, though I like
to think of myself as
one who dabbles in bedazzlement.
For fun, though, you could go to the Bedazzler's website and hear their
funny infomercial. The title to this post is the link.
Thanks for coming out today. Thanks for playing our game.
Peace, love, and gaudy glittery things that distract your eyes -
** H **
Maybe you have not. This isn't about whether or not you've missed
me. It's about bedazzling.
But, for the sake of argument, let's say you HAVE missed me.
Even if you don't actually say it out loud, I'm going to pretend
you have. Then I'm going to talk to you like this:
It's not that I think I'm someone special,
or that I think you think it.
(Oh, by the way, though, God did make me special.
And He loves me very much. Bob and Larry told me about
it and I choose to acknowledge the probability that they are
correct.)
I also choose to acknowledge that some folks may just feel
sheer annoyance toward me. Perhaps a select few experience
alternating feelings of absolute delight and debilitating anger
with an occasional foray into the realm of bedazzlement.
Bedazzlement, bedazzling, bedazzle. Let's think about it.
be·daz·zle
1. to impress forcefully, esp. so as to
make oblivious to faults or shortcomings:
"Audiences were bedazzled by her charm. "
2. to dazzle so as to blind or confuse:
"The glare of the headlights bedazzled him. "
Bedazzlement, bedazzling, bedazzle. Let's think about it.
be·daz·zle
1. to impress forcefully, esp. so as to
make oblivious to faults or shortcomings:
"Audiences were bedazzled by her charm. "
2. to dazzle so as to blind or confuse:
"The glare of the headlights bedazzled him. "
3. to add gaudy little plastic shiny things to your clothing,
in effort to .... (see definition #2, above).
"Why pay$250 for bejeweled jeans,
"Why pay$250 for bejeweled jeans,
when you can Bedazzle your own favorite pair?
They look better, feel better, and sparkle
with your own Bedazzling style?!
Now THAT'S a winner!!"
Yep, I'm sure it IS a winner. But I can't really say, since
I never owned a Bedazzler. My parents said I didn't need one.
(Sigh...admitting they were probably right, ... sigh again.)
But I do kind of wonder... how might I be different
today if I'd gotten all my bedazzling done as a child??????
Disclaimer: Please don't go buy me a Bedazzler. :>)
I don't want a Bedazzler now, though I like
to think of myself as
one who dabbles in bedazzlement.
For fun, though, you could go to the Bedazzler's website and hear their
funny infomercial. The title to this post is the link.
Thanks for coming out today. Thanks for playing our game.
Peace, love, and gaudy glittery things that distract your eyes -
** H **
Sunday, May 4, 2008
Queen B, again
Translated from Queen B speak to English, to save your brain cells:
"Well this is just great!
I don't know how to know ANY of this stuff !"
I feel the saaaaaaaaammme way about 60 % of the time, Ms. B.
Of course, she misunderstood what I said.
I'd just read a Dora book to her. This girl LOVES Dora. I mean,
REALLLY loves Dora.
Usually I read a book, then she takes it from my hands and says,
"Now I will read it to you."
But this time, as she took it from my hands she didn't say anything.
I assumed we were just doing our normal thing.
I said "Now, YOU read to Mommy like I just read to you."
This was a VERY upsetting thing for me to say, apparently.
Talk about a child looking pitiful. Hopeless, even.
She crossed the room, flopped into the chair, held out her hands
and in utter disbelief at the hand life had just dealt her,
she said.... "Well, this is just great!......."
Life has a way of doing that to us, doesn't it???
But maybe we sometimes misunderstand what we've been
asked to do.
Ya think??
"Well this is just great!
I don't know how to know ANY of this stuff !"
I feel the saaaaaaaaammme way about 60 % of the time, Ms. B.
Of course, she misunderstood what I said.
I'd just read a Dora book to her. This girl LOVES Dora. I mean,
REALLLY loves Dora.
Usually I read a book, then she takes it from my hands and says,
"Now I will read it to you."
But this time, as she took it from my hands she didn't say anything.
I assumed we were just doing our normal thing.
I said "Now, YOU read to Mommy like I just read to you."
This was a VERY upsetting thing for me to say, apparently.
Talk about a child looking pitiful. Hopeless, even.
She crossed the room, flopped into the chair, held out her hands
and in utter disbelief at the hand life had just dealt her,
she said.... "Well, this is just great!......."
Life has a way of doing that to us, doesn't it???
But maybe we sometimes misunderstand what we've been
asked to do.
Ya think??
Advice to Little Bear from Queen B
Queen B is kicked back on the couch,
eating "hat chips" (Bugles).
She's watching Little Bear. Little Bear was supposed
to go to sleep, but he wants to see the sun come up
like Father Bear does when he's out to sea.
So Little Bear asks for a drink of water.
A goodnight kiss.
For Mother Bear to come back because he didn't kiss her BACK.
He's hot, he's thirsty, he's not sleepy....
he's got all kinds of problems.
Queen B, between chip chomps says
"Ohhhh tum on, awready!
eating "hat chips" (Bugles).
She's watching Little Bear. Little Bear was supposed
to go to sleep, but he wants to see the sun come up
like Father Bear does when he's out to sea.
So Little Bear asks for a drink of water.
A goodnight kiss.
For Mother Bear to come back because he didn't kiss her BACK.
He's hot, he's thirsty, he's not sleepy....
he's got all kinds of problems.
Queen B, between chip chomps says
"Ohhhh tum on, awready!
He need to twit jat-tin' awound and doe to SLEEEEEP !"
For those who don't read phonetic Queen B speak well,
"Oh, come on already. He needs to quit jacking around and go to SLEEEEP!":>)
No-nonsense. That's Queen B. Well, there is SOME nonsense,
For those who don't read phonetic Queen B speak well,
"Oh, come on already. He needs to quit jacking around and go to SLEEEEP!":>)
No-nonsense. That's Queen B. Well, there is SOME nonsense,
but mostly, no.
I think Little Bear would do well to take a lesson or two......
I think Little Bear would do well to take a lesson or two......
Friday, May 2, 2008
Of Hippos and Marvin...courtesy of Moto K
I was just thinking of all the things I wanted to
tell you.
But then Moto K cleared my entire head with one
little phrase.
He said....
"When can we EAT?!? I'm a HUNGRY MARVIN !! "
Now I'm laughing so hard I can't think.
Apparently, there's a STARVING HIPPO around here
that also needs my attention!
** H **
tell you.
But then Moto K cleared my entire head with one
little phrase.
He said....
"When can we EAT?!? I'm a HUNGRY MARVIN !! "
Now I'm laughing so hard I can't think.
Apparently, there's a STARVING HIPPO around here
that also needs my attention!
** H **
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Tattling on Sister Happiness, part II (Read part I first, DUH!)
So, anyway, like I was saying....
Sister Happiness had to slam on her brakes.
(You remember... it was because of that guy
who did a second yield for the purpose of
floral observation and she was none too happy
about that. Are you with me?)
With the slamming of the brakes, much to the
amazement and disappointedness of
Eggie and Meggie Happiness, who happen
to just be innocent bysitters in this unfortunate
situation, Sister Happiness yelled . . . .
** H **
Sister Happiness had to slam on her brakes.
(You remember... it was because of that guy
who did a second yield for the purpose of
floral observation and she was none too happy
about that. Are you with me?)
With the slamming of the brakes, much to the
amazement and disappointedness of
Eggie and Meggie Happiness, who happen
to just be innocent bysitters in this unfortunate
situation, Sister Happiness yelled . . . .
" IDIOT !"
(I know, Mom and Dad, I know... I'm just as
disappointed as you are. But wait, it gets worse!)
So, yeah, about the amazement and disappointedness
of the little Happinesses... well, they told her that
IDIOT was a bad word.
But guess what she said. It wasn't good.
She said
"No, Mommy Happiness didn't say a bad word."
Then she said
"That guy's NAME is Mr. Idiot.
I was just calling him by his NAME, Mr. Idiot."
All I can say is, she might have gotten away with
it this time.... but I hope you have a talk with her.
If she keeps this up, we'll have to
change her name to Sister Blazingpants.
I don't want that, and I don't think you do either.
Please handle this right away! Do it for the children!
** H **
P.S. Some of the stuff in this story might have been
exaggerated, because I happen to have already
earned my badge for Moderate Exaggeration, so I'm
at liberty to do so. That's not at all like liaring.
It's so totally different you won't even recognize it.
Tattling on Sister Happiness, part I
To the parents:
I have something I have to tell you. And I'm only saying this
because I love you and I know you'd want to know what
bad things your daughter is doing. I love to break it to you,
but here it is:
Here's the deal:
She, um, there was this guy who, um,
was in a car in front of her car...
and, um... well, he was yielding at the
YIELD sign .
And, um... Sister Happiness was behind him
yielding for him to be done so she could have
her turn to yield at the YIELD sign.
Well, that guy did yield but then decided to
proceed with caution out into the stream of
traffic.
But then he yielded again because apparently ...
(unless Sister Happiness is liaring to me about it,
because I don't know if I can trust someone who
is liaring to their kids about bad words)...
so, um, where was I ?
Oh, yeah, so, ok, um... so that guy stopped
proceeding and was having another round
of yielding. Guess why.
It's because of according to Sister Happiness that
guy was deciding right there in mid-acceleration
that he would yield to look at ....FLOWERS, of all
things.
Well, if you know Sister Happiness, you realize that
waiting for her very own turn to yield while the guy
in front of her does two yields for the purpose of
floral observation is not something she's going to tolerate well.
To be continued.......
I have something I have to tell you. And I'm only saying this
because I love you and I know you'd want to know what
bad things your daughter is doing. I love to break it to you,
but here it is:
Sister Happiness is saying bad words
in front of her kids
and then lying to them about it.
Here's the deal:
She, um, there was this guy who, um,
was in a car in front of her car...
and, um... well, he was yielding at the
YIELD sign .
And, um... Sister Happiness was behind him
yielding for him to be done so she could have
her turn to yield at the YIELD sign.
Well, that guy did yield but then decided to
proceed with caution out into the stream of
traffic.
But then he yielded again because apparently ...
(unless Sister Happiness is liaring to me about it,
because I don't know if I can trust someone who
is liaring to their kids about bad words)...
so, um, where was I ?
Oh, yeah, so, ok, um... so that guy stopped
proceeding and was having another round
of yielding. Guess why.
It's because of according to Sister Happiness that
guy was deciding right there in mid-acceleration
that he would yield to look at ....FLOWERS, of all
things.
Well, if you know Sister Happiness, you realize that
waiting for her very own turn to yield while the guy
in front of her does two yields for the purpose of
floral observation is not something she's going to tolerate well.
To be continued.......
Monday, April 28, 2008
Great idea to save money: Stay home! In theory, I love it!
I've linked the title of this post to one of my favorite
blogs to read, Money Saving Mom.
Two of my favorites, actually,
http://www.moneysavingmom.com/
and
http://www.biblicalwomanhoodonline.com/
are both authored by Crystal Paine.
I love to read her helpful tips. I usually get my
shopping lists for CVS and Walgreens
from her site (some of which come from other sites....
us "frug-ies" like to share!).
Today Crystal posted about how staying home can
save you lots of money, help reduce clutter, help you
get things done, create time for you to do things you
enjoy, etc.
It was so much easier to stay home when
we lived in the middle of nowhere. But I really
should try to do it more. Crystal makes it sound like
so much fun.
Remember staying home? I think I do.
I'm glad Crystal reminded us.
Oh... and... not that anyone cares... but here's a recent
chain of events in my frugal life.
1) Someone named Crista posted on a homeschooling board
about Crystal Paine's e-book on grocery shopping savings being
discounted for that day only (back in January).
2) I checked it out... bought Crystal's e-book. Listened.
Got inspired.
3) Shopped like a madwoman, learned how to "do CVS"
and how to "do Walgreens", thus coming away with
a gigantic amount of product for not a gigantic amount of
dough! Woo hoo!
4) Got inspired some more.
5) Started reading Dave Ramsey's "Total Money Makeover"
because Crystal was always talking about her financial
goals on Money Saving Mom.... I just had to know.
6) Got inspired some more.
7) Starting putting together a plan for the steps necessary
for us to become debt free. (It won't be a short trip.... but
at least we've begun now.)
So.... thanks, Crista... thanks Crystal...
thanks cashiers at CVS and Walgreens......
thanks God,
hello girls in the balcony,
and so on.
Love y'all.
** H **
blogs to read, Money Saving Mom.
Two of my favorites, actually,
http://www.moneysavingmom.com/
and
http://www.biblicalwomanhoodonline.com/
are both authored by Crystal Paine.
I love to read her helpful tips. I usually get my
shopping lists for CVS and Walgreens
from her site (some of which come from other sites....
us "frug-ies" like to share!).
Today Crystal posted about how staying home can
save you lots of money, help reduce clutter, help you
get things done, create time for you to do things you
enjoy, etc.
It was so much easier to stay home when
we lived in the middle of nowhere. But I really
should try to do it more. Crystal makes it sound like
so much fun.
Remember staying home? I think I do.
I'm glad Crystal reminded us.
Oh... and... not that anyone cares... but here's a recent
chain of events in my frugal life.
1) Someone named Crista posted on a homeschooling board
about Crystal Paine's e-book on grocery shopping savings being
discounted for that day only (back in January).
2) I checked it out... bought Crystal's e-book. Listened.
Got inspired.
3) Shopped like a madwoman, learned how to "do CVS"
and how to "do Walgreens", thus coming away with
a gigantic amount of product for not a gigantic amount of
dough! Woo hoo!
4) Got inspired some more.
5) Started reading Dave Ramsey's "Total Money Makeover"
because Crystal was always talking about her financial
goals on Money Saving Mom.... I just had to know.
6) Got inspired some more.
7) Starting putting together a plan for the steps necessary
for us to become debt free. (It won't be a short trip.... but
at least we've begun now.)
So.... thanks, Crista... thanks Crystal...
thanks cashiers at CVS and Walgreens......
thanks God,
hello girls in the balcony,
and so on.
Love y'all.
** H **
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Dude, have I been, like, majorly absent, or WHAT?!
I thought the last couple of weeks were no-brainers.
Until I met this week.
We lost a friend in an accident this week.
He wasn't someone we saw on a regular basis.
The loss isn't any less, though.
A friend, a son, a husband, a dad.... and so on.....
gone before we were ready.
We're never ready to lose someone, are we?
Sending love and prayers to Jim's family.
I had two teeth pulled on Thursday. Dr. Dentist assures me that
the bridge I'm getting will completely clear up any issues I had
in this area of my mouth, and my go-jillion other little fillings
that need to be done will happily wait until January '09...
when I have more insurance money to spend.
Splendid. Fabulous. I can hardly wait.
Moto K has classes with the homeschool group for 2 more Mondays.
I'm excited for that to be over for this year.
"School" isn't over, but Mondays will be less hectic.
Oh.. did I mention that Moto K started guitar lessons this past week?
According to both his mother and his instructor, there is suspicion
that the boy is a musical genius.
We ask that you don't repeat this little tidbit
until we've been given a proper amount of time to verify.
After all, it's just suspicion at this point.
But right now, it's Saturday. We're going to a birthday party today.
Queen B insists that there will be fireworks and races there.
And that we'll be sleeping in a hotel.
Apparently, she is confusing this little jaunt to H&H's house
with a trip to Indy for motocross races.
What goes ON in the mind of a 2 year old?!?! :>)
Until I met this week.
We lost a friend in an accident this week.
He wasn't someone we saw on a regular basis.
The loss isn't any less, though.
A friend, a son, a husband, a dad.... and so on.....
gone before we were ready.
We're never ready to lose someone, are we?
Sending love and prayers to Jim's family.
I had two teeth pulled on Thursday. Dr. Dentist assures me that
the bridge I'm getting will completely clear up any issues I had
in this area of my mouth, and my go-jillion other little fillings
that need to be done will happily wait until January '09...
when I have more insurance money to spend.
Splendid. Fabulous. I can hardly wait.
Moto K has classes with the homeschool group for 2 more Mondays.
I'm excited for that to be over for this year.
"School" isn't over, but Mondays will be less hectic.
Oh.. did I mention that Moto K started guitar lessons this past week?
According to both his mother and his instructor, there is suspicion
that the boy is a musical genius.
We ask that you don't repeat this little tidbit
until we've been given a proper amount of time to verify.
After all, it's just suspicion at this point.
But right now, it's Saturday. We're going to a birthday party today.
Queen B insists that there will be fireworks and races there.
And that we'll be sleeping in a hotel.
Apparently, she is confusing this little jaunt to H&H's house
with a trip to Indy for motocross races.
What goes ON in the mind of a 2 year old?!?! :>)
Saturday, April 19, 2008
No-brainer
Not like "this is a no-brainer"......
More like "she's a no-brainer". Meaning, "she possesses no brain".
For the past couple of weeks, I have been rendered completely
non-creative in my thinking.
I've not read, viewed, or participated in much that would
add to my comedic repertoire.
Unless you consider Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover funny.
Or the fact that I have oodles of coupons to sort and sales flyers to go through so I can get
back to saving some money. :>)
If I haven't sorted, I haven't shopped. So I haven't spent.
So money has been saved. Or so it would seem.
But just wait until there's nothing to wipe our bums with,
though, and I have to pay full price for our T.P. because I missed the sale
and let the coupons expire.
THAT, my friends, is when the paper hits the fan.
---------------
The best thing I heard today -
Queen B telling me she liked the "white car with yellow polka dots" that we had in Alabama last week. (We rented a white Mustang, and the pollen was SO bad all the cars looked like they were covered with yellow spray paint! .... BTW and FYI...... Mustangs are NOT family-friendly cars. Did I mention that?)
Oh, yeah.... Moto K sang my praises (because I forced him to, which kind of cheapened the experience) because I found $21 he'd been missing in the laundry. Guess where it was.
I just told you, dork. It was in the laundry.
Well, ok, maybe you're not a dork. But if you guessed that it was
in the bottom of the TV box we're using as a dirty clothes hamper downstairs,
you are right!
Your prize for guessing correctly is............
the satisfaction you feel for having guessed correctly!!
Now I'm going to bed. If I plan on slaying and hilariating again anytime soon,
I'm going to have to get some more rest. Or maybe I've had too much.
What to do, what to do, what to do...???
H
More like "she's a no-brainer". Meaning, "she possesses no brain".
For the past couple of weeks, I have been rendered completely
non-creative in my thinking.
I've not read, viewed, or participated in much that would
add to my comedic repertoire.
Unless you consider Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover funny.
Or the fact that I have oodles of coupons to sort and sales flyers to go through so I can get
back to saving some money. :>)
If I haven't sorted, I haven't shopped. So I haven't spent.
So money has been saved. Or so it would seem.
But just wait until there's nothing to wipe our bums with,
though, and I have to pay full price for our T.P. because I missed the sale
and let the coupons expire.
THAT, my friends, is when the paper hits the fan.
---------------
The best thing I heard today -
Queen B telling me she liked the "white car with yellow polka dots" that we had in Alabama last week. (We rented a white Mustang, and the pollen was SO bad all the cars looked like they were covered with yellow spray paint! .... BTW and FYI...... Mustangs are NOT family-friendly cars. Did I mention that?)
Oh, yeah.... Moto K sang my praises (because I forced him to, which kind of cheapened the experience) because I found $21 he'd been missing in the laundry. Guess where it was.
I just told you, dork. It was in the laundry.
Well, ok, maybe you're not a dork. But if you guessed that it was
in the bottom of the TV box we're using as a dirty clothes hamper downstairs,
you are right!
Your prize for guessing correctly is............
the satisfaction you feel for having guessed correctly!!
Now I'm going to bed. If I plan on slaying and hilariating again anytime soon,
I'm going to have to get some more rest. Or maybe I've had too much.
What to do, what to do, what to do...???
H
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Gone South - Be Back Soon!
Visiting Sister Happiness in The South. Please don't worry.
LOL - As if you were thinking of worrying.... :>)
I'll be back soon.
Moto K talked me into upgrading the car rental to a Mustang, not realizing
a) due to his age, he's still stuck in the back seat
b) even if he COULD sit up front, he'd be too short to see out the windows.
(Well, there goes a whole bunch of cool, right Moto K?)
Queen B has her own set of names for the people who live here:
She can say the given name of Sister Happiness with no trouble.
But she prefers to call her cousins Eggie and Meggie, and refers to
the husband of Sister Happiness as "Your Friend".
:>)
Having a nice relaxing time. Hope you are, too.
** H **
LOL - As if you were thinking of worrying.... :>)
I'll be back soon.
Moto K talked me into upgrading the car rental to a Mustang, not realizing
a) due to his age, he's still stuck in the back seat
b) even if he COULD sit up front, he'd be too short to see out the windows.
(Well, there goes a whole bunch of cool, right Moto K?)
Queen B has her own set of names for the people who live here:
She can say the given name of Sister Happiness with no trouble.
But she prefers to call her cousins Eggie and Meggie, and refers to
the husband of Sister Happiness as "Your Friend".
:>)
Having a nice relaxing time. Hope you are, too.
** H **
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Who knew there was a Mr. Correct-All ? We're NOT married!
From a story on ABCNEWS (link above):
"Some of the littlest things are big to Jeff Deck,
who is traveling the country in search of mistakes. "
I know, I know, it's a freakish thing to want to go around
correcting the world.
It seems Jeff Deck and I are like-minded,
but I don't have time to actually go and correct
all publicly-displayed typographical errors.
Myself, I just have to let it go. But I'm proud
of Jeff, sort of. And I'm sort of wondering
if he doesn't really have some better things
to do.
I mean, in spite of my love of correct spelling
and my loathing of apostrophe abuse,
there are more important things in life.
If you decide to watch the video clip of this story,
please note that Jeff says near the end
that it isn't his goal to make people feel dumb.
This is what I've been trying to explain
to Mr. Amazing and others for years.
Our hearts and minds are seeking correctness,
aren't they, Jeff?
It's not our desire to see
someone feeling bad about having
"done it wrong".
We just want others to know the joy that
is ours when we see things done correctly.
But I have some sad news for you, Jeff.
They don't care. At least that's what I've
always been told.
They don't want to know when
they're wrong.
But thanks for trying, Jeff.
You're so lucky.....
you got to make a vacation of it, while
I sit here in ugly pajamas, unable to do
a single thing about the sign in my
neighbors' yard that reads:
[ THE JACKSONS' ] *
Daily I wait, asking myself,
"What do the Jacksons own?"
"What redeeming noun will they place at the end of that sign?"
Some folks' have all the luck, Jeff....
{Please tell me you see the error in the above sentence. Please tell me you do.
I tried to just throw it out there and not address it. But I can't have you thinking
I'm an apostrophe abuser. I just can't.}
Disclaimer: In order to protect the "Jackson" family,
their name has been changed here. :>)
"Some of the littlest things are big to Jeff Deck,
who is traveling the country in search of mistakes. "
I know, I know, it's a freakish thing to want to go around
correcting the world.
It seems Jeff Deck and I are like-minded,
but I don't have time to actually go and correct
all publicly-displayed typographical errors.
Myself, I just have to let it go. But I'm proud
of Jeff, sort of. And I'm sort of wondering
if he doesn't really have some better things
to do.
I mean, in spite of my love of correct spelling
and my loathing of apostrophe abuse,
there are more important things in life.
If you decide to watch the video clip of this story,
please note that Jeff says near the end
that it isn't his goal to make people feel dumb.
This is what I've been trying to explain
to Mr. Amazing and others for years.
Our hearts and minds are seeking correctness,
aren't they, Jeff?
It's not our desire to see
someone feeling bad about having
"done it wrong".
We just want others to know the joy that
is ours when we see things done correctly.
But I have some sad news for you, Jeff.
They don't care. At least that's what I've
always been told.
They don't want to know when
they're wrong.
But thanks for trying, Jeff.
You're so lucky.....
you got to make a vacation of it, while
I sit here in ugly pajamas, unable to do
a single thing about the sign in my
neighbors' yard that reads:
[ THE JACKSONS' ] *
Daily I wait, asking myself,
"What do the Jacksons own?"
"What redeeming noun will they place at the end of that sign?"
Some folks' have all the luck, Jeff....
{Please tell me you see the error in the above sentence. Please tell me you do.
I tried to just throw it out there and not address it. But I can't have you thinking
I'm an apostrophe abuser. I just can't.}
Disclaimer: In order to protect the "Jackson" family,
their name has been changed here. :>)
Thursday, April 3, 2008
F. Y. I. - Dictionary.com is a friend of mine
I just wanted you to know that though I do possess
a decent level of skills where usage of the English
language is concerned, I'm about to make
a HUGE admission.
There. It's been said. But let's not dwell on it, ok?
(By the way, Mr. Amazing has dubbed me "Correct-All" ,
not to be confused with "Correctal", the laxative
...or... maybe that's what he means.
Hmmm... gonna have to ask about that one! )
That's all for now.
I just felt like I needed to confess,
because I had to look up "haranguing" before I could
commit to putting it over there to the left of the page.
See it? You should read that, and then click the
"subscribe to" link. Go ahead. It won't hurt a bit.
Then, if I suddenly get funny in the middle
of the night, you'll know first thing in the morning.
Isn't that convenient?
The things I do for you. Sheeesh!
** H **
*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***
a decent level of skills where usage of the English
language is concerned, I'm about to make
a HUGE admission.
I don't know everything.
There. It's been said. But let's not dwell on it, ok?
(By the way, Mr. Amazing has dubbed me "Correct-All" ,
not to be confused with "Correctal", the laxative
...or... maybe that's what he means.
Hmmm... gonna have to ask about that one! )
That's all for now.
I just felt like I needed to confess,
because I had to look up "haranguing" before I could
commit to putting it over there to the left of the page.
See it? You should read that, and then click the
"subscribe to" link. Go ahead. It won't hurt a bit.
Then, if I suddenly get funny in the middle
of the night, you'll know first thing in the morning.
Isn't that convenient?
The things I do for you. Sheeesh!
** H **
*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***
American Heritage Dictionary - Cite This Source - Share This
ha·rangue (hə-rāng') Pronunciation Key n.
A long pompous speech, especially one delivered before a gathering.
A speech or piece of writing characterized by strong feeling or expression; a tirade.
v. ha·rangued, ha·rangu·ing, ha·rangues v. intr. To deliver a harangue.
ha·rangue (hə-rāng') Pronunciation Key n.
A long pompous speech, especially one delivered before a gathering.
A speech or piece of writing characterized by strong feeling or expression; a tirade.
v. ha·rangued, ha·rangu·ing, ha·rangues v. intr. To deliver a harangue.
*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
How I Feel About Coupons - Poetry
:>)
I've been keeping my coupon poetry hidden from the non-couponing world.
But over at Hot Coupon World, I've been cuttin' loose. (No cou-pun intended!)
I think maybe you're ready for a sampling.
Brace yourself, Effie.
A girl once longed
I've been keeping my coupon poetry hidden from the non-couponing world.
But over at Hot Coupon World, I've been cuttin' loose. (No cou-pun intended!)
I think maybe you're ready for a sampling.
Brace yourself, Effie.
There once was a girl
from Nantucket
who kept her coupons
in a bucket.
When she went to pay
the cashier would say
did you CUT that coupon,
or PLUCK it?
I should mention somewhere in here that I am WELL aware these are not actually that funny. I know, I know... but this is so entertaining for me. Can we keep going, just for a minute???
A girl once longed
for a coupon
to buy a jar
of Gray Poupon.
But to her dismay,
her husband did say:
"Forget mustard -
put the soup on!"
I found a coupon
in Nantucket
at the bottom of a
fish bait bucket.
It was for Colgate
that was free after rebate.
So it's not like I
could just chuck it.
WANTED FOR STEALING
Have you'ns seent these here 2 PullUpian thieves?
We'z offerin' a REward
in the amount of 24 cents,
which is the cost-
after coupons... of course,
of the 2 now-missing PullUp garments.
These thieves are believed to be unarmed
and may only be partially clothed.
Furthermore, they might be hungry, so
please be cautious.
Food Allergy & Intolerance Survival Guide, Free T-shirt, and so on...
Ok, I haven't had a chance to do a whole lot of looking around on "A Momma and the Boys...." site YET, but I wanted to let you know about a couple of cool freebies I found on her site.
Look around for yourself to see what might interest you.
I signed up for the free t-shirt from ohshot.com .
Free t-shirt from ohshot.com
I have no idea what the t-shirt will say. I'm guessing it will say ohshot
but what do I know? :>)
I also am signing up for the allergy thingy from Enjoy Life Foods.
- Request Form for Food Allergy and Intolerance Survival Guide
Thanks, "Momma"
Look around for yourself to see what might interest you.
I signed up for the free t-shirt from ohshot.com .
Free t-shirt from ohshot.com
I have no idea what the t-shirt will say. I'm guessing it will say ohshot
but what do I know? :>)
I also am signing up for the allergy thingy from Enjoy Life Foods.
- Request Form for Food Allergy and Intolerance Survival Guide
Thanks, "Momma"
EBATES, baby!
(If you're sick of hearing about it, skip this post!)
http://www.ebates.com/help/how_ebates_works.htm?navigation_id=18452
Someone was kind enough to share the info with me.
Now it's my duty to share, dontcha know...
If you've been getting rebates all this time
and never thought to let me in on your little secret.... shame on you!!
Just a month and a half ago someone I didn't even know
went to the trouble of explaining how if I signed up for EBATES
and used her email address for referral,
then ordered at least $5 worth of something, we'd both get $10.
(Her suggestion was Old Navy... with the $5 shipping...
spend just over $5.... total just over $10...
and by May my item would be almost free.
I didn't go that route, but WHAT I purchased isn't the point here.)
Thanks to EBATES' double bonus offer that ended yesterday,
I have about $130 coming!
And several of my friends have at least $10 coming back to them!
The girl who referred me has $10 coming back to her.....
isn't this FUN?!?! :>)
My account total right now is $96.85.
And $30 in bonus Target gift cards.
Admittedly, I wouldn't have this much in my account if others hadn't signed up.
From my purchases: an Entertainment book for our area, a phone card, a pair of jeans, printer ink, a rental car when I go to Alabama, etc.... I've earned $11.
From referrals and referral bonuses,
I've "earned" about $120. In a month. From two emails.
I'm fairly certain EBATES will offer the double bonus again in the future.
But if you just gotta get started now,
email me or post a comment here
and I'll give you the email address I use for EBATES referrals.
(It's not the "gonnacallit" address.)
For those who have already joined EBATES,
whether long ago or just this month,
I'd LOVE IT if you'd post your experiences here!
Inspire us!
*When did you join?
*What are your favorite stores to shop through EBATES?
* Brag about your rebates!
* How many people have YOU told about EBATES??
Thanks for humoring me, everyone.
I have to go try and think of something funny to say now.
Love ya -
** H **
Monday, March 31, 2008
These are my American Idol favorites (not necessarily in order) this year.
I thought I'd show you, since that blue is so beautifully refreshing against the brown
I thought I'd show you, since that blue is so beautifully refreshing against the brown
background....
and since I'm exhausted and have very little to actually say.
I don't really need them to win, because I want them to be free to be themselves after the tour.
and since I'm exhausted and have very little to actually say.
I don't really need them to win, because I want them to be free to be themselves after the tour.
(Sorry guys, but it's true.)
Oh, yeah, um.... I like Brooke, Carly, and Ramiele, too.
** H **
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Product review by Queen B
The following is Queen B's unsolicited opinion of the efficacy of Crest Pro-Health Night rinse.
By the way... it was FREE from CVS/pharmacy due to their fabulous Extracare Bucks program. Are you familiar? Do you CVS ? Check it out! http://www.cvs.com/CVSApp/cvs/gateway/extracarehome .
(Please keep in mind... Queen B is a toddler. She's brutally honest without intent of malice. In defense of the folks at Crest, this is just one toddler's opinion. Nothing more, nothing less.)
-Thursday morning, 7:00 a.m., CDST-
QB: You smell very bad.
Me: What?!?
QB: (waving fingers in front of her mouth) In here, in your mouth.
Me: You mean my breath?
QB: Yesssssssss! (contorting face to show displeasure)
Me: Well, Missy, your breath smells bad in the morning, too.
QB: No.
Me: Yeah, it does.
QB: No.... it's NOT!
Me: I used mouthwash last night. It didn't help?
QB: NO!
Me: Well, you have a pippy (pacifier) in your mouth at night, so you don't smell good either.
QB: YES I DO! A pippy smells good. Your washwash in your mouth is BAAAD!
And then she walked away. Apparently... we were done....
con-vah-sation o-VAH!
(Talk to the left, cuz you ain't right!)
Oh... and if you're interested in more CVS info..... the link for Money Saving Mom's blog over on the left side of the page!
** H **
Thought for the day:
Give yourself permission
to be joyful in your incompetence,
domestic or otherwise.
*** *** *** Contentment *** *** ***
Philippians 4:12 (N I V)
I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty.
I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation,
whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.
*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***
Is your to-do list overwhelming?
Mine is. Would it be ok if, say , for TODAY,
we work our way through the to-do list as life permits
and really, really TRY not to let our failings over-shadow our joy?
What's robbing you of joy today? Have you learned the secret of being content?
I'd like to say that I have, but so often I struggle. I'm not wanting for things, but for perfection. For completion of the never-ending list.
So today, as I fail miserably I'm going to smile. And be joyful.
I'll smile while I apologize to Mr. Amazing for not washing his favorite work shirts.
I'll smile when the UPS man gets peanut butter on his hand as he tries to open our front door.
I'll smile, be joyful, and think happy thoughts about the storage room
in all its disheveled glory.
I'll sing with glee.
For I know that some day, at some time yet to be determined,
I really will hem those pants for Mr. Amazing. And bake a pie from scratch.
And..... wait... this is sounding like a list....
think joyful thoughts... think joyful thoughts...
Have a great day, y'all. I've got to go..... I've got some smiling to do!
Monday, March 24, 2008
Penny Wise, Dollar Ridiculously Idiotic?
First, I'm sorry to have to do this to you... but because some of you will be in over your heads once I start this.... YES, I'm using a few made up words. Don't bother pulling out the dictionary. :>)
Mad coupon skills. I have 'em.
I brag about 'em.
I'm no Crystal Paine -LOL-. She authors one of my favorite frugal websites http://www.moneysavingmom.com/ .... I am a Royal Pain... but not a Crystal Paine.
(Sorry, Crystal, if you should ever happen to see this...I'm not
poking fun at your name, just givin' the props
for your extensive couponness, which far exceeds my skills -
mad though they may be.)
Whilst I did dazzle and amaze myself and onlookers with my couponiacally frugal endeavors last month, I accidentally (moronically) forgot to pay a few of our bills.
I had the money.
I wasn't out of checks. I wasn't bedridden. Wasn't out of stamps. The check was not in the mail.
The dog didn't eat it. My computer didn't crash. Nobody tased me.
I just flat out FORGOT. Time got away from me.
What went wrong? What what my excuse... I mean REASON?
1) I'm a mom.
2) I'm a mom of TWO.
3) I'm a mom to THESE TWO!
4) We have a dog.
5) I had to sort coupons.
6) There were lots of coupons.
See... I've been REALLY busy. :>)
Truth is, there was no excuse. Well, there was an excuse. Just pick one. Not a reason, though.
Incompetence can be an expensive habit.
Good news is, I managed to get all the late fees reversed (thank you God... and thank you, customer service reps who had mercy on me).
I simply called and admitted my stupidity and my need for mercy right off the bat.
Most were helpful and even a little bit pleasant.
There was one lady in particular, though, who made my day.
She had no sense of humor whatsoever and/or was overwhelmed with my stellar incompetence and could not find it within herself to laugh with me about it.
Our conversation went something like this:
Me: I don't know what happened. It snuck up on me soooo fast. Was it just me, or was February REALLY short this year?!
(dead silence for a small eternity)
She (in an expressionless voice): Ma'am, this year February was one day longer.
Me: hhmmmm.... (thoughtful pause)... WELL, I guess I'd better really watch it next year, then, huh?"
She: Yes, Ma'am. I've reversed the late fee. Will that be all today?
Me: Well, not for me. I have 3 more companies to call!
She: Have a good day, Ma'am. Good-bye.
I wonder if she has a blog where she writes about all the incompetent people who call her at work.
Mad coupon skills. I have 'em.
I brag about 'em.
I'm no Crystal Paine -LOL-. She authors one of my favorite frugal websites http://www.moneysavingmom.com/ .... I am a Royal Pain... but not a Crystal Paine.
(Sorry, Crystal, if you should ever happen to see this...I'm not
poking fun at your name, just givin' the props
for your extensive couponness, which far exceeds my skills -
mad though they may be.)
Whilst I did dazzle and amaze myself and onlookers with my couponiacally frugal endeavors last month, I accidentally (moronically) forgot to pay a few of our bills.
I had the money.
I wasn't out of checks. I wasn't bedridden. Wasn't out of stamps. The check was not in the mail.
The dog didn't eat it. My computer didn't crash. Nobody tased me.
I just flat out FORGOT. Time got away from me.
What went wrong? What what my excuse... I mean REASON?
1) I'm a mom.
2) I'm a mom of TWO.
3) I'm a mom to THESE TWO!
4) We have a dog.
5) I had to sort coupons.
6) There were lots of coupons.
See... I've been REALLY busy. :>)
Truth is, there was no excuse. Well, there was an excuse. Just pick one. Not a reason, though.
Incompetence can be an expensive habit.
Good news is, I managed to get all the late fees reversed (thank you God... and thank you, customer service reps who had mercy on me).
I simply called and admitted my stupidity and my need for mercy right off the bat.
Most were helpful and even a little bit pleasant.
There was one lady in particular, though, who made my day.
She had no sense of humor whatsoever and/or was overwhelmed with my stellar incompetence and could not find it within herself to laugh with me about it.
Our conversation went something like this:
Me: I don't know what happened. It snuck up on me soooo fast. Was it just me, or was February REALLY short this year?!
(dead silence for a small eternity)
She (in an expressionless voice): Ma'am, this year February was one day longer.
Me: hhmmmm.... (thoughtful pause)... WELL, I guess I'd better really watch it next year, then, huh?"
She: Yes, Ma'am. I've reversed the late fee. Will that be all today?
Me: Well, not for me. I have 3 more companies to call!
She: Have a good day, Ma'am. Good-bye.
I wonder if she has a blog where she writes about all the incompetent people who call her at work.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Embarassingly Revealing?
Folks are amazed, it seems, when I talk about potentially embarassing incidents/situations/things about myself and don't feel all that embarassed about them.
Maybe they think some things that are revealed might well be left in the
"realm-of-that-which-is-not-mentioned".
(Now, don't start chewing on your nose hair. Relax. I'm not going to say anything explicit or, you know, REALLY weird here!)
You were worried though, weren't you? For just a second?
So, back to these revelations.
You might wonder ....
"WHY does she DO that!?!"
So let's talk about just a few of the many reasons, ok? Want to?
(Here's where you say "Oh, goody... let's talk about them. Yes, let's do!"
That's what Mr. Amazing would say. He says "Oh goody.." a lot when I want to discuss things.)
1) I like to make people laugh. It's fun. And I like to laugh. A whole big bunch. And I think I'm funny. Not my jokes. Well, some of them. But, I mean, I do some really wacky stuff.
Then I think....... "What?!!"
So when you're thinking "What?!!" about me, I'm not losing anything. I'm not less for it.
We're enjoying my incompetence together, you and I.
Is it not one of the wonders of God's creation that we can do so?
I was placed here for our entertainment.
How very thoughtful, Amen?
2) I know that not everyone can handle these potential embarassments like I can. Maybe, in some small way, others (who can't seem to handle feeling incompetent as well as I can) will feel slightly superior to me. And even if it's only me, it's someone. So I will have made their day. There I am again, helping us all out.. :>) he he he....
3) And, finally... I hope that someone, somewhere will glean some value from my stories... cautionary tales, if you will. "Oh, man, whatever I do, I will NEVER put on lipstick and then rub my lips together while I'm driving.... remember when Heather did that?? Oh, the horror!!!"
Sure, they laughed hysterically when I told the story. And they wondered why I shared that story aloud.
Why, oh why, didn't I keep THAT one to myself? HOW embarassing.
Why didn't I keep it to myself, you ask?
What? You'd better NOT be asking. If you are seriously asking me that, get your hiney back to the top of this post and re-read, Mister! or... or... Missy!... or .... whomever you may be!
I have to go now. I've more to say, but let's leave it for another time. Queen B has arisen and calls to me from her chamber.
H
Maybe they think some things that are revealed might well be left in the
"realm-of-that-which-is-not-mentioned".
(Now, don't start chewing on your nose hair. Relax. I'm not going to say anything explicit or, you know, REALLY weird here!)
You were worried though, weren't you? For just a second?
So, back to these revelations.
You might wonder ....
"WHY does she DO that!?!"
So let's talk about just a few of the many reasons, ok? Want to?
(Here's where you say "Oh, goody... let's talk about them. Yes, let's do!"
That's what Mr. Amazing would say. He says "Oh goody.." a lot when I want to discuss things.)
1) I like to make people laugh. It's fun. And I like to laugh. A whole big bunch. And I think I'm funny. Not my jokes. Well, some of them. But, I mean, I do some really wacky stuff.
Then I think....... "What?!!"
So when you're thinking "What?!!" about me, I'm not losing anything. I'm not less for it.
We're enjoying my incompetence together, you and I.
Is it not one of the wonders of God's creation that we can do so?
I was placed here for our entertainment.
How very thoughtful, Amen?
2) I know that not everyone can handle these potential embarassments like I can. Maybe, in some small way, others (who can't seem to handle feeling incompetent as well as I can) will feel slightly superior to me. And even if it's only me, it's someone. So I will have made their day. There I am again, helping us all out.. :>) he he he....
3) And, finally... I hope that someone, somewhere will glean some value from my stories... cautionary tales, if you will. "Oh, man, whatever I do, I will NEVER put on lipstick and then rub my lips together while I'm driving.... remember when Heather did that?? Oh, the horror!!!"
Sure, they laughed hysterically when I told the story. And they wondered why I shared that story aloud.
Why, oh why, didn't I keep THAT one to myself? HOW embarassing.
Why didn't I keep it to myself, you ask?
What? You'd better NOT be asking. If you are seriously asking me that, get your hiney back to the top of this post and re-read, Mister! or... or... Missy!... or .... whomever you may be!
I have to go now. I've more to say, but let's leave it for another time. Queen B has arisen and calls to me from her chamber.
H
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
